Healed from Schizophrenia

Helga - Perth, Scotland

My problems began when I was 12-years-old and I developed a mental illness. I found it difficult to fall asleep and was always frightened that something really bad would happen to me; for instance not being able to wake up again. I always had negative thoughts in my mind, and it was as if somebody was controlling them. Sometimes I even heard voices calling my name. As time went on the illness got out of control and I would swing between being much better and being really bad. Quite often I couldn’t get out of bed and I was so depressed I just stared at the walls for hours. I even thought about taking sleeping pills because I didn’t want to live anymore.

This went on for six years and it gradually became more serious. My mind would tell me that I was so bad and horrible and that a sinner, like myself, would never be forgiven by God. I had no one to talk to because my relationship with my family was not good. I was always a disappointment and a trouble to them. Everything I did was wrong in their eyes. Nobody wanted to have a relationship with me on any level, so I had no friends at all and nobody to turn to.

My illness reached the point where I started to see figures haunting and attacking me during the night and I thought that the people in the photographs on my wall changed into satanic figures. Once I locked myself in my room and screamed through the whole night as I was scared of dying. The next morning my parents took me to a psychiatric hospital where I was locked away. I was scared of everyone in my family and even more frightened at the hospital where they diagnosed me with schizophrenia.

They gave me a lot of powerful drugs and restrained me to a bed. The drugs had many side effects, some of which were spasms, seizures, shaking and not being able to feel my body. I was on these drugs for about 10 days and after I took them the side effects lasted about 30 minutes. All of this just made my life even worse. For quite a long time I couldn’t move properly and was practically paralysed although I could still feel pain. I was in the hospital against my will. I wanted to leave but the courts decided how long I had to stay. No one from my family or from the nursing staff gave me any support. They didn’t even believe that I was in a lot of pain. When I was finally allowed to leave the hospital I still had to take a lot of strong drugs every day and I had to see a psychiatrist to control my medication.

I was not able to finish school or do any studies due to my illness. This made it impossible for me to have a career. My parents warned me that if I didn’t start working they would take me back to the psychiatric clinic and that lawyers would take my rights away. So I got a part-time job in an office as a secretary. This was a miracle because normally nobody would employ a person who has been in a psychiatric clinic. I worked there for a while and during this time my boss started to talk to me about the Bible and told me that Jesus still heals people today. I knew in my heart that this was the truth and so I went to a Christian meeting with him. I believed that if I received the Holy Spirit I would be healed immediately of all of my illnesses. I made the decision to follow God with my whole heart and when I received the Holy Spirit I was completely healed. I threw all my medication away and I had no withdrawal symptoms at all.

I was then able to get a full-time job as a secretary and started a completely new life. I have a lot of friends now, especially in the assembly; who show me a lot of love and care and I love them deeply. I have travelled to Australia twice and I am studying nursing at the University in Dundee. I hope that my negative past will help me to have compassion for others since I have the opportunity to make a difference. My parents see that I am now a different person too, leading a normal life. There have been no recurring problems since I became a Christian and my life has just gotten better and better. I have been free from my illness for six years now and soon I will be a qualified nurse. I am so happy to be saved and to be part of this assembly which truly is my family in Christ.

Praise the Lord for these miracles.