Teen Controlled by Fear Sought God!

Joana - Hatfield, England

Photo of Joana

Hi everybody!

I would like to share my testimony of how I was controlled by fear!

For a long time I was scared of everything, literally. I was terrified that my family would die and that I would be left alone, or that I would die, or even that God would forget all about me and that I would go to Hell. I was so scared that I often cried myself to sleep at night, but sometimes was even scared to fall asleep. Every day Satan gave me new fears and I started believing them, but I couldn’t stop the fear. I prayed every day, every minute, trying to block out the new fears that played in my mind. I felt that if I didn’t pray all day, the people I loved would die and that God would ‘blame’ me on Judgement Day.

I would get exhausted from fearing everything around me all day, and gradually this fear started building up to become anger, which I took out on my family. I hated myself, and became convinced all my fears would come true. I started believing that God was giving me these fears, and wondered why I believed in a God who hated me enough to give me these fears. I became desperate for a way to escape this never ending fear, but as my constant prayers ‘weren’t working’, I was rapidly giving up hope. I felt as if I was dying inside.

One evening it was particularly bad. I had had a full day and was exhausted from trying to block out the nagging fear within me. I got ready to go to bed and suddenly something inside me just snapped. An overwhelming wave of fear came over me, and I couldn’t stop crying. Every time I closed my eyes I would see demons and other figures coming to get me. I even saw a figure resembling my dad, who walked towards me, arms outstretched to strangle me. At this point I couldn’t take it anymore. I screamed until I found it difficult to breathe; I didn’t understand what to do anymore. I got up and went to talk to my dad, but I couldn’t speak and my breathing got heavier and heavier. It got so bad that my dad got really worried, and even asked if I had been taking something because he had never seen me like this. I asked him to pray that God would take away my fear, so my dad commanded the fear to leave me. Straight after the prayer I felt something leave me, and I was able to breathe normally again. I felt so relieved and calm for the first time in months that I couldn’t believe it! All my fear had disappeared and my dad showed me some scriptures about what the Bible says about fear.

2 TIMOTHY 1:7For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. “

1 JOHN 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment...”

I realized that being a spirit filled Christian is never going to be easy, but that it’s such a beautiful thing that Satan will do all in his power to destroy our relationship with God. It is an ongoing battle, but it is a battle we need to fight and that is well worth fighting for.

Praise the Lord! 

Comments

Um, hi, my name is Melissa, When I was five I use to be an instrument of god, he used me in a vision once, I couldn't swallow and in my vision I saw these three angels, they told me I was going to be good as new the next day, and I was, but getting older, my visions stopped, and the fear came to me, and the whole end of the world thing, u really helped me, I thought, I was the only one like this. I know how you feel, god bless you.

I can relate to. I used to be 'deathly' (pun intended) afraid of death and worried all the time if I'd go to Hell. But now it's as if I feel at ease and that as long as I follow & love God with all my heart, mind, and soul, then I'll be ok.

I also had a fear of not being good enough/perfect enough in both every day life AND for God, but the truth is, we're flesh. And flesh isn't at all perfect. The only thing that's perfect is Jesus & God and with their help & guidance, we can live the best lives we can humanly possible. So now I just strive to do my best everyday and try and create the habit of basing my actions on what God would think and what He says in my heart, if that makes sense.

Today I learned that God after all, doesn't take pleasure in seeing/putting others in the lake of fire. Just knowing that makes me feel calm and that confirms that He truly wants the best for us, but He can't do much unless we let Him in.

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