Teen Controlled by Fear Sought God!
I would like to share my testimony of how I was controlled by fear!
For a long time I was scared of everything, literally. I was terrified that my family would die and that I would be left alone, or that I would die, or even that God would forget all about me and that I would go to Hell. I was so scared that I often cried myself to sleep at night, but sometimes was even scared to fall asleep. Every day Satan gave me new fears and I started believing them, but I couldn’t stop the fear. I prayed every day, every minute, trying to block out the new fears that played in my mind. I felt that if I didn’t pray all day, the people I loved would die and that God would ‘blame’ me on Judgement Day.
I would get exhausted from fearing everything around me all day, and gradually this fear started building up to become anger, which I took out on my family. I hated myself, and became convinced all my fears would come true. I started believing that God was giving me these fears, and wondered why I believed in a God who hated me enough to give me these fears. I became desperate for a way to escape this never ending fear, but as my constant prayers ‘weren’t working’, I was rapidly giving up hope. I felt as if I was dying inside.
One evening it was particularly bad. I had had a full day and was exhausted from trying to block out the nagging fear within me. I got ready to go to bed and suddenly something inside me just snapped. An overwhelming wave of fear came over me, and I couldn’t stop crying. Every time I closed my eyes I would see demons and other figures coming to get me. I even saw a figure resembling my dad, who walked towards me, arms outstretched to strangle me. At this point I couldn’t take it anymore. I screamed until I found it difficult to breathe; I didn’t understand what to do anymore. I got up and went to talk to my dad, but I couldn’t speak and my breathing got heavier and heavier. It got so bad that my dad got really worried, and even asked if I had been taking something because he had never seen me like this. I asked him to pray that God would take away my fear, so my dad commanded the fear to leave me. Straight after the prayer I felt something leave me, and I was able to breathe normally again. I felt so relieved and calm for the first time in months that I couldn’t believe it! All my fear had disappeared and my dad showed me some scriptures about what the Bible says about fear.
2 TIMOTHY 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. “
1 JOHN 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment...”
I realized that being a spirit filled Christian is never going to be easy, but that it’s such a beautiful thing that Satan will do all in his power to destroy our relationship with God. It is an ongoing battle, but it is a battle we need to fight and that is well worth fighting for.
Praise the Lord!